Why Nipples are not the Test of Freedom

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An image from the campaign An image of a Free the Nipple campaign t-shirt

Nudity was a big part of my life growing up and combined with the weight of the body-shaming Western world I have developed a difficult attitude toward nakedness. While others seem to relish in nude adventures as a mark of rebellion, it merely brings me back to angst over being out of place as the child of a hippy mother. When I came across the “Free the Nipple” campaign that seems to be growing on social media, it brought back childhood memories. Free the Nipple emerged as a response to both laws across America which make it illegal for women to be topless, and rules enforced by a number of social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, which prevent nipple pics from being shared. A lot of celebrities and other folk seem to be jumping at the chance to rebel…

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If Disney Princesses Had Realistic Waistlines

This article was originally found on BuzzFeed, written by Loryn Brantz.


What If Disney Princesses Had Realistic Waistlines?

This was literally my childhood.

No wonder young girls and teens deeply believe that they need to have the body of the 1%. The idealized body is viewed by all children at a very young age and starts with what seems to be harmless images- like Disney movies!

Disney princesses have long been criticized for creating unrealistic expectations for women. And being racist but that’s a different topic. The proportionality of Disney princesses certainly does not meet real-life standards. Their breasts are too large for their tiny rib cage, and their eyes usually take up about 1/4 of their entire face, if not more. Their skin complexion is always one of the three skin colors you can find in a crayon box. Oh, and their hair. It is always long and voluminous and many young girls have short manageable dos.

Below are some comparisons between what Disney princesses look like and what they should actually look like. Oh, how this would have boosted my self esteem and exhibited a “healthy” waistline.

grid-cell-3945-1414612625-0  grid-cell-3945-1414612627-3

 grid-cell-28367-1414616486-6 grid-cell-28367-1414616487-9

grid-cell-10486-1414636278-9 grid-cell-10486-1414636280-12

grid-cell-4220-1414612611-4 grid-cell-4220-1414612612-7

grid-cell-4103-1414612769-4 grid-cell-4103-1414612770-7

grid-cell-5430-1414612837-27 grid-cell-5430-1414612839-30

Tinder Users Wear Fat Suits To Their Dates. The Reactions For Men & Women Are Totally Different.

Tinder. God Bless. The goal of Tinder is pretty clear- to meet new people and either have sex with them or start dating them. Some people claim that they use it to make new friends, but I have always questioned the legitimacy of that statement.

In a social experiment, a female and male Tinder user schedule dates with their matches, and then wear a fat suit to the date. Here’s what goes down with the female Tinder user:

 

Now, here is what happens with the male Tinder user:

The Huffington Post did an article on this, and they took more of a “just because she’s fat, doesn’t mean she can’t be respected” kinda approach.

What I find to be more interesting is that women seem to be conditioned to use a more gentle and kind approach when dealing with an uncomfortable situation, especially where they have been tricked. The men get angry almost immediately and all leave but one. #entitlement

Where does this behavior come from?

The root of this could possibly be the way that girls and boys are raised. Men are raised to be generally less sensitive, less thoughtful, and should not be angered because boys will be boys and they might just explode. While women should be slow to anger and should always be kind, never blunt.

We see this example very clearly with catcalling, and male entitlement at its foundation. When a women tells off a man who has catcalled to her, she will immediately be referred to as a bitch, slut, cunt, etc. Other reactions usually include the woman being flipped off, or told to smile, or “Oh, we didn’t mean it that way. Just thought you were real pretty. Can’t hate a man for that, can you?”

Catcalling is NOT just a man saying rude and objectifying comments to women, just so we’re clear. It can also be in the form of any unwanted comments, or during a time that is not necessarily appropriate for someone to do so. Example: asking a woman how she is doing while she walks home alone at night. Not cool.

 

In the sitch with the Tinder dates, a double standard is in effect.  Double standards, man.

 

 


As always, credit where credit is due, thanks Cavan Sieczkowski and Huffington Post.

YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.

A few months ago I was made aware, and by more than one person, of my lack of a love life. Not only have certain individuals felt the need to point out something that, yes- I am fully aware of, but they also felt the need to tell me what they thought I was doing wrong in terms of attracting men.

The “constructive” criticisms of course included my physical appearance. I could fix my makeup, dress nicer, lose some weight, etc. But surprisingly, most of the critiques were on my strong and independent personality. I was “too intimidating” and “too independent.” If I wanted to attract men I had to at least pretend I was mildly insecure and in need of a strong boy to take care of me so he could feel better about himself.

1.) I apparently NEED a man. The fact that I am halfway through college and don’t have one already, and haven’t found one yet, apparently implies that there is something wrong with me and it needs to be fixed immediately.

2.) I am supposed to change myself in order to find a man “who loves you [me] for who you are!”

A bit of a contradiction, don’t you think?

society is ugly

I am ashamed to admit that I was a willing participant who also agreed that my singleness was a problem, and the solution was that I needed to change and/or fix myself. The insecurity was in high gear, all feminist values thrown out the window. I even took to heart some of the “advice” I had received and attempted to transform myself into someone who would be “worthy” of male attention.

I know, I know- ridiculous and sad, but true. But I have a feeling I am not the only young woman in the world who has given into the same pressures and insecurities.

But you know what? Changing myself, or at least attempting to, only made ME unhappy and LESS confident. I was losing myself to bottle of weight loss pills (which are NOT good for you and did not work) and an assortment of unnecessary beauty products. I put on the mask of a ditzy damsel in distress in an attempt to leave behind my once firm values of female empowerment, confidence and independence. And quite frankly I hated looking myself in the mirror. I was a hypocrite! And I was desperate, and more insecure than ever.

So how did I find my way back? A medical emergency involving my heart due to the horrible diet pills I was taking. That was my wake up call.

What was I doing?! I could have killed myself! And for what? To potentially impress some insecure man who wouldn’t even end up liking me for who I really was?

No. That is not what I wanted.

After that moment, I made a promise to myself that I would not change who I was, physically or otherwise, to fit another person’s expectations. I would love myself for who I was, and stay true to my morals and values.

I engrossed myself in healthy living (mentally and physically), and surrounded myself with positive healthy people who supported and accepted me for me.

That’s not to say that staying true to who you are and what you believe is easy. There are still days where I may waiver and the insecurities come creeping back, but I don’t let them win.

I am proud to be the woman that I am. I am a feminist. I am strong and confident. I am independent and intelligent. I am beautiful inside and out.

If you are the type of man or woman who thinks that that is too “scary” or intimidating”, and that I should mold my mind and my body to anyone else’s standards but my own- I pity you. If those are the rules you play by you must be just as unhappy as I was.

Don’t be that person.

Love and respect yourself enough to just be you.

confident